Most of my career in high tech and in the nonprofit sector has centered around Northern California, home, of course, to Apple, Google, Meta (Facebook), Nvidia, and to a company that doesn’t get talked about as much these days, Hewlett-Packard. It’s challenging to explain to people today just how influential the company was in the tech culture of California when I arrived in 1976. The founders, Bill Hewlett and David Packard, were already legends in the Valley. Dave Packard became a friend.
Recently I found in my notes a copy of Dave’s “11 Simple Rules.” He first formulated these in 1958, in preparation for a company offsite. I find it remarkable that 65 years later they resonate as powerfully as they must have done in that long-ago meeting.
The first version was full of “he” and “him” and “the other fellow,” so I’ve updated the language. I hope you’ll enjoy these simple rules today as much as I did when I first read them.
David Packard’s “11 Simple Rules”
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Think first of the other person. This is THE foundation — the first requisite — for getting along with others. And it is the one truly difficult accomplishment you must make. Gaining this, the rest will be “a breeze.”
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Build up the other person’s sense of importance. If we make them seem less important, we frustrate one of their deepest urges. Allow them to feel equality or superiority, and we can easily get along with them.
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Respect the other person’s personality rights. Respect, as something sacred, the other person’s right to be different from you. No two personalities are ever molded by precisely the same forces.
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Give sincere appreciation. If we think someone has done a thing well, we should never hesitate to let them know it. WARNING: This does not mean promiscuous use of obvious flattery. Flattery with most intelligent people gets exactly the reaction it deserves — contempt for the egotistical “phony” who stoops to it.
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Eliminate the negative. Criticism seldom does what its user intends, for it invariably causes resentment. The tiniest bit of disapproval can sometimes cause a resentment which will rankle — to your disadvantage — for years.
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Avoid openly trying to reform people. Every person knows they are imperfect, but they don’t want someone else trying to correct their faults. If you want to improve a person, help them to embrace a higher working goal — a standard, an ideal — and they will do their own “making over” far more effectively than you can do it for them.
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Try to understand others. How would you react to similar circumstances? When you begin to see the “whys” of them, you can’t help but get along better with them.
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Check first impressions. We are especially prone to dislike some people on first sight because of some vague resemblance (of which we are usually unaware) to someone else whom we have had reason to dislike. Follow Abraham Lincoln’s famous self-instruction: “I do not like that man; therefore I shall get to know him better.”
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Take care with the little details. Watch your smile, your tone of voice, how you use your eyes, the way you greet people, the use of nicknames, and remembering faces, names, and dates. Little things add polish to your skill in dealing with people. Constantly, deliberately think of them until they become a natural part of your personality.
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Develop genuine interest in people. You cannot successfully apply the foregoing suggestions unless you have a sincere desire to like, respect, and be helpful to others. Conversely, you cannot build genuine interest in people until you have experienced the pleasure of working with them in an atmosphere characterized by mutual liking and respect.
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Keep it up. That’s all — just keep it up!
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Have you shared any simple rules within you organization?
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How could these simple rules help inform yours?